Everything floating
around me today is telling me that my God is capable, my God wont and cannot
fail, and to step over and let God be God. I’m stepping into those truths
today. I know that today will not be the
last day I step into those truths, but I step into them today with purpose. I’m
taking a step in a way that I pray will change my life…a change so powerful
that life as I know it will cease to exist…
There is a saying…”Don’t put all your marbles in one bag”...but
that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m dropping all of my hopes, dreams, cares,
& concerns into the hands of the ONE God that is capable of holding it all.
I’ll admit that my hands are shaking as I pick up the marbles of my life that
have rolled around carelessly due to my human nature. Pure fear grips me…and I
began to ask the question, which exposes the doubt that I have in my God. “What
if…”
I make excuses in attempts to keep the smooth marbles in my
hand for a little while longer, “I’m just making sure you remember God…I don’t
want you to forget.”
But I have now gotten to the point where I have had enough.
I’m tired of being a one-woman team, running here and there in a feeble attempt
to make sure everything works out how I envisioned it. Trying to stand up the
details I think will fall in line with the big picture, even though I am not
all seeing or all knowing.
So I’m picking them up, one by one and handing them
over. Allowing my fingers to linger in
God’s hand to reassure me, to steady me, and to let his voice that says, “I am
able to do far more abundantly than all that you can ask or think” calm me.
I don’t know what the days, weeks, or months may have in
store or what they will look like in this process of releasing what I thought I
needed to be in control of. But it’s time to distinguish the fears and open my
eyes to see every aspect of God. Aspects that will relieve the pressures &
stresses that weigh me down as I run around trying to be God’s assistant.
I’ve learned recently in a small group full of wonderful
women and through the sermons of my pastor that I need to stop allowing the
dotted line that hangs from the what ifs put me in a choke hold. Its time to
finish the questions: What if it doesn’t work out the way I envisioned it? What
if it doesn’t happen at all? Can I still manage to have faith, joy, and peace
in my God?
God is working on me...He’s begging me to trust Him. He
desires for me to hand over my anxious thoughts…. So here I am, doing what the
world told me not to do…placing all my marbles in one bag.
